Soft There is Doses

RemajaIslamHebat.Com - There are three important things in educating children. These three are admirable traits, not only in educating children. The first is gentle or rifq.           

What is rifq? Friendly, friendly, gentle, courtesy when doing muamalah with other people, including when parents relate to children in everyday life.      

It is not only in a good mood or giving advice. Even when it gives you punishment or consequences to any child, it is required of rifq. With that child felt that the parents loved him, even in punishing. The loss of rifq, although in the circumstances is fulfilling a child's desire, making children difficult to feel the love of He's not sure the parents care about him. It is the beginning of a growing respect for your parents.      

Indeed, he is the most merciful of the merciful. Very different obedience that appears because the helpless child face the parent with the obedience that grows from respect. If he is afraid of the parents, then when the control and parental supervision will be weakened. Indeed Allah is all-gentle, all-gentle. And Allah ar-Rafiq love tenderness. Of ' Aisha Radhiyallahu ' anha, Rasulullah Shallallahu ' alaihi wa be said:     

God is a companion who loves to care, and gives compassion what does not give violence, and what he does not give.     

Indeed, Allah is rafiq, and he loves the rifq, and he gives it to those who do not believe. More." (hr. Muslims).       

Meek is not a barrier to be bold. On the contrary, the softness is necessary for the child to feel that the rules are upheld by the consistency of parents. All is for the good of the child. Not because of your own parents or the parents don't like children.      

Soft and resolute are not two conflicting things. Not even the softness of the hard-being, that's right. A gentle gentleness is weakness. This is what makes children difficult to learn to be consistent. Is strong in principle, allowing the parents to forge a child's mentality.      

Look at the gear shift. Very soft in hand, but not not hard. The gear shift will lose it when it's not hard. We can't do a good dental change.       

Subtlety can't meet with harsh attitude. Some people gather two evils; he was rude and at the same time weak. Rough when giving, rude when rejecting child requests. He was rude when he ruled, he spoke to him using fazhzhan. Make a noise to the child to use the worst of the donkey's voices. But when the child insists not to obey, or the child whine is sulking, the parents will soon surrender This is the form of weakness.      

Then, the keys of all goodness are in tenderness. When we establish the rules by being strict or even when it gives you what a child likes, we need to be gentle to them. The softness of the teaching will eliminate all goodness, even when we are teaching religion.     

From Jarir Ibn Abdillah 'anhu, Rasulullah Shallallahu' alaihi wa be said:    

Who forbids compassion, denies all the good.    

" whoever is forbidden to him, is forbidden to him the good." (hr. Muslims).      

May Allah not give us tenderness and keep us out of the coarse and vile manner. Definitely not softness From Him (' Aisha) Radhiyallahu ' anha too, Rasulullah Shallallahu ' alaihi wa be said:      

You have to be with him, and you and the violence, and the obscenity, that the annex is nothing but his own, and he doesn't take anything away.       

"it is for you to do so gently, beware of the attitude of the attitude, and it is not a gentle thing to do, nor will it be removed from anything but to disfigure it". HR. Muslim).

Calm, not reactive        

The most important thing in educating children is an attitude of al-Hilm and al-Anah. Al-Hilm is a quiet and gentle gesture of great skill in self-control. He has control of himself even when he is angry, so not hastily react. It will be the best. It's hard to get when parents are reactive, even impulsive, when facing child mistakes so that his actions tend to be immeasurable.       

Sometimes a child comes to complain about the problem, not to find a way out, but to lighten his emotions because there is a place to He told me to acquire emotional and social support of parents. But while the parents lost hilm, he could lose peace. When He's supposed to still listen to the boy with attention, he's in a hurry to give long advice. It's not that we give advice, even very good, but need to be patient and full of love.       

And Allah is not hasty. He has made a decision after acquiring knowledge and adequate knowledge. Needs to be clear when it's not clear to him a matter, and sometimes it must be accompanied by tatsabbut, to ensure the meaning of action or Neither hilm nor anah, both are needed to be able to uphold the softness of the child.      

To Allah ta 'ala i invoke the bounty of rifq, hilm and' Anah for me, my wife and my offspring and all of us. May not be our descendants and the people of God.[]

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