He Should Know...



by : Yeti Widiati

In the day we hear that sentence. When people talk about their leaders, or when the observers talk about public officials.

In the consulting room, this sentence appears more often. Those who put themselves as victims, think that changes have to be done by others so that they feel comfortable, so demanding others change and not themselves.

Kid, "you should know, I don't like the violin"
I said, "should the kids know that I'm tired of doing all the work"
I said, "should the kids know, if I can't keep them playing because I'm busy at work"
Teacher said, "should the children know if learning is important"
Wife said, " should my husband know, if he can't put a towel
Husband said, "should my wife know, if I don't like him to ask for office affairs"

And so many words began with " he should know, if....

Interesting is that these people assume that what he knows should be known by others. He denies the possibility that people have different concerns, different experiences and various different things.

Trying to think in someone else's way, it's not an easy thing. Requires Flexibility. Like a classic blind man holding an elephant. Then it takes an attempt to open an eye, shift into another position, retreat to make a distance, so we can see the "Elephant" Overall.

In fact all this mechanism is an abstract mechanism that happens in the brain. Not yet when perception is affected by many other things. Value, beliefs, experience, emotion, cognitive, gender, etc.

The point is, a certain inevitability if people have a different way of looking at things.

Even though when we decide to live together with people who already have the same value, in practice there are many more likely to cause friction / friction in its journey.

Communication is the beginning of solving problems. How easy a person is to be able to express what is thought and felt, it also requires training and onboarding.

It turns out for some (or even more) people, no culture is formed to communicate well. Messages are presented in one direction. Husband, Father's father to son, teacher to student, leader to society. In the context of the family, the less running communication has grown into the seeds of a fight.

It takes sensitivity to understand. Onboarding to communicate and the ability to find a rally point that win-win for all parties. So that no one feels to be sacrificed or sacrificed.

Yeti's Yeti. 221014

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