Follow how the Qur ' an and assunnah "speak" (regarding the word not and not in the context of child education)

 by : Yeti Widiati

1. Checks the verses in the Qur ' an or the word of the prophet who uses no words or not. See if there are no words and no, followed by:
- reason or reasoning why behavior is prohibited, and / or
- there's an alternative alternative behavior.

He said, " O my son, do not associate others with Allah in his divinity. Indeed, it is a great sin, and do not speak to them in words. Do not shout at them, and speak to them a noble word. And lower the wing of kindness to them.

My question (please be answered honestly in the heart), do any of us forbid with the word not to the child, we (parent or teacher) follow with explanations or show the expected behavior?
What I see in life is, the parent / teacher just said don't but then don't explain why that behavior can't and also not deliver what behavior is expected. Even in a lot of cases proceeding with labelling, for example, " be quiet, you are so stubborn...

2. Kids are different from adults.
Adults have had the proper experience and knowledge to act and make decisions. Son, his knowledge is limited. And do not go near to fornication, but the adults know what he does. Married, subjected, shaum, etc.

But children don't. Until when the child is forbidden, then need to be told what he can do. Not enough to say, " don't be loud!". then if you can't make a noise, how could you What happens is the child's trial is going to do a lot of things, then it's forbidden again, so it often confuses him, because it's like nothing In such conditions are either parents or children of opportunity to become emotional. Why don't you say, " be quiet, sister is sleeping awake. Why don't you play outside, or what if you read the book first."

Don't look like brakes on a vehicle. When there is danger, then we brake. But then we can't stay there, we have to move again. " forward again " that's an analogy from " what a child needs to do "

3. Laws for children are different from the laws of adults.
There are many things that are prohibited by adults but be forgiven when children do. Because that's how to tell a child to be different because its legal consequences are different.

4. in many ways, Ammar is first of the which. Send in the good things first. That's my opinion.

5. Ways that brain work is unique, because it's easier for the brain to keep visual stimuli. If I say "don't imagine the pink elephant" then we'll be picturing a pink elephant. That's why some experts recommend us (to hasten the acceptance process of stimulus) is by conveying a word or a faster sentence acceptable to the brain, for example, ' imagine the brown elephant." then the pink elephant will not be seen

I once proved that and my friends would do a little experiment. A toddler being fed. Next to it there's a TV show broadcasting cartoon. His eyes glanced straight on tv so his mouth didn't chew. His mother was upset, so reprimanding, " don't watch tv..." what happened was the boy constantly looking into the tv and his mother got overwhelmed because the feeding was long ago.

In Short, say no and no, effective when people are banned already have a strong value system and know what alternative behavior can be done other than prohibited.

Please say no and not on the child. But make sure that the child knows what other behavior can be done. Otherwise, the child will be confused and stressed.

* there can't be a word and not if it's no use...

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