FIGHT - FLIGHT - FREEZE - FORGIVE




Fight and flight is an unscripted reaction that appears when someone is mempersepsi and in pain of the threat. Fight and flight appear " just so without realizing it. It is because the process is administered by a brain stem that serves to bring up self-protection reflexes.

Fight is a struggle against stimuli. To the child, it can hit, kick, spoil, sulk, etc. This spontaneous reaction has appeared when someone, absorbed still has the ability or the strength to fight. Emotions in general are angry emotions.

While flight is a spontaneous reaction to escape from stimulus stimuli. To the child, it's self-shaped, evasive, etc. It's usually done, when it's yell, in pain to counteract those threatening stimuli. The emotion that joins is fear of fear.

Neither fight nor flight, both is spontaneous and natural response. Both were meant for self-preservation of destruction. There's no one better than the others. These two just provide information about what someone is dealing with.

After fight and flight, there is freeze. When did that freeze come up? Freeze is a non-Berdayaan condition of someone to do a good effort against or escape. Could it happen? Very likely. Not everyone can and dare to escape. Even to escape, someone needs the courage to accept the consequences.

I'm going to take a very simple concrete sample that happens to the children's cases showing freeze's reaction.
- when a sixth-grade kid was hit in his 4TH GRADE GRADE 2th grade, he was bigger, stronger, and taller. He dares not fight. Back Home, he reported to his parents that he was beaten by his friend and wished to get his parent s' protection. Turns out to hear children's stories, his parents were angry and ordered the kid to avenge his friend. . Although, it's obvious the child is in a state of inability. Make a parent (who is larger), what the hell is hard to fight 4th graders?

Really, parents do not empathize with his child's disability, when demanding a child fight, but does not guide the child to be able to face the consequences of the choice of behavior

At this point, the boy is in a jam between his friend's pressure at school and his parent s' pressure at home. He can't fight either, nor can he escape. He becomes a freeze. Lazy school, lose the spirit of study, worry every will go to school, abdominal pain, limp and dizzy when going to school, etc.

- the parents are demanding, assessing, judging, labelling, comparing, physical violence everything will be dipersepsi as a humbling threat and even self-destruction. Children with all physical limitations, emotions and cognitive, unable to fight (fight) it's all but in the way of came. Maybe he tried to do a fight, tantrum, sulk, etc. But it turned out to be a stronger parent and he gave up. Children do not want to escape, even if there is a small amount. If he runs away, then he will lose protection and a place to rely. Though he is with all his limitations.

Then, between the discomfort of stress and fear to escape, the reaction that occurred is freeze. The children are in freeze, losing focus ability, remember, often fucking, high anxiety and effect on physical, gastritis, shortness of breath, and other anxiety symptoms often appear. Gesture and other expression appear different than children who grow healthy and psychic. This is the work of limbic. It is the dominant.

The recurring pattern will also show up when the child grows older when there is no correction process. Can appear in groggy condition or suddenly lose the word and the power to remember in a certain situation. Tendency to avoid inconvenient situations is also one form of avoiding freeze reaction.

All the reactions on the top, fight, flight and freeze is a fair reaction. They become less natural and become a problem when the reaction is repeated without a more rational processing effort and also evoke a feeling of discomfort and causes conflict with others. Yeah, just imagine when a man argues that he is being attacked. Or otherwise, people avoid being confronted by a challenging situation, it also makes it less effective. Includes a blocking assignment when talking in front of people is also distracting.

Therefore needed a longer process, which is not enough to simply stop on brain stem reflexes and emotions of it's limbic brain. The brain of the cortex that works with information needs to be upgraded to solving problems and decision decisions based on more logical and rational reasons.

Forgiveness is a long process that involves the brain of the cortex. The forgiveness process is challenging at most people (including myself). From the stage to realize and accept thoughts, feelings and desire. Self-released and emotionally with to perform the process in which there is also reframming and new meaning to the situation encountered, which initially dipersepsi as a threat. Even forgiveness to give and love the situation or the person who hurt it is the glory.

Religion teaches if and affection. It's a long way to get there. In the condition we limped away and manage emotions, we are confronted with the responsibility to teach our son to manage his emotions.

I see, the presence of our children with genuine emotional dynamics is also learning to ourselves as an adult.

But he who is patient and forgives, indeed, that is of the matters of determination. (QS 42: 39-43)

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