Friday, November 10, 2017

Like buying a cat in a sack (about to know candidates)



I know that this theme is pretty sensitive. Sensitive in the sense of a chance to cause a pretty sharp debate. When I think about it, I really feel lazy to raise this theme, because I don't like an endless debate and don't contribute. But when I look ' Downstream ' to the consequences of what happened, then I will immediately go back to Hulu ' and ask " where is the miss?"

Many times, I accept the cases of marriage that age has not been "a lifetime of corn" but it is full of conflict and desire to be so strong from both sides. Different couples but the problem boils down to the same thing, "I don't know if my partner turned out like that and I don't like it"
- it turns out my partner is easily offended.
- turns out my partner is stubborn
- turns out my partner is lazy
- turns out my mother-in-law is chatty once
- my sister-in-law likes to be jealous.
DST.

I asked, " how long have you known your partner before getting married?"
There is a variety of things, 1 months, 3 months, 1 years, even someone has been dating for 5 years. I didn't find a pattern here. An Introduction doesn't determine how much we know our candidates.

I asked, "how do you know your partner before marriage"
The answer is diverse, someone answers to a relationship, there is someone else who's been notified about his spouse. I didn't find a pattern here. Turns out, from which source information ' is yourself, relatives, friends, teachers, ustadz, etc. Also doesn't guarantee that we know the candidates well.

So in this case, I can't infer, whether people are dating so long and intense, it's going to be a happy marriage or not. ' cause there's a guy who's in a long relationship and is happy, but there's also a long relationship but just married for

Instead, I also can not conclude, is marriage an arranged marriage, without proper introduction, is it sure the marriage is not happy? Because a lot of people are arranged but happy, and so many are matched but not happy as the siti nurbaya in the past.

I finally got to thinking, the point is not on 'that it turns out our partner was different after the wedding' but how much our ability to be able to accept the difference we found

Because his name is a couple, whether the husband or wife is definitely going to make us shock with different habits, different backgrounds, different families, etc.

Why are those who have been dating a long time, even that has been too far?
Because dating is not a marriage. Courtship has no commitment and responsibility as well as marriage. Courtship, more like "imaging" is shown on purpose. And can break up anytime without being responsible.

Therefore those who are in the same relationship remain in shock after the wedding, because the exhaustion in the fake will open as well at the Except for those who have always appeared, after marriage, shock shocks is not too big.

But I think there's something important to be known from a prospective couple. Because marriage is a strong commitment that needs to be nurtured and guarded as possible. Planned to live in a long time. As a vehicle to achieve great goals and give birth to a better generation.

We need to know the value of our potential partner. What his hopes, his goals and his plans forward.

We also need to know the big family. ' cause marriage isn't just about the united unity of 2 (two).

We need to know what it's like and the custom of our couples, to facilitate the process of adaptation.

Knowing is like doing orientation. When we're going somewhere, then we'll open google map and picture the route. When we're going to apply for a job at a company, we'll figure out all kinds of things about the company and the job offered. When a professor will teach, then he gives you a general description of the lecture that will be given in a semester.

Then be the out gambling, if a person will take a journey with a man / women do not do the orientation first for what is so important and take responsibility in front of God.

There are many ways to achieve goals. Select the appropriate value. But do not let "the way" is to be a grudge in its goal. The crucial we develop on ourselves is the ability to accept others and adapt to a new situation, which we may never imagine before.

For the parents, then teaching, guiding and preparing children (male or female) to be able to adapt to different situations to be important, especially when our children are close to married age. Because all this affects how they go to marriage.

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