Friday, November 10, 2017

Enforcing Rules not Like Reversing Palms


by : Yeti Widiati
There was one time my son changed his behavior, like the "Queen" who gets all the ease. Members, want to win it all, and all desires must be fulfilled soon. If his wishes were not fulfilled, he would be angry and cry that makes all people do nothing and will do as much as he will.

And it happened a few weeks after he was the first operation at the age of 2

"pity.... he is sick....," is a divine word that affects people's actions. My little boy will soon learn that he can influence and control other people only with tears.

We decided and agreed to change it. He's really sick and it's heavy. But don't let us increase the burden. Avoid others for their bad behavior. It's bothersome, more miserable if he doesn't have any friends. And it's not fair for his brother because he must always give up. For that we have to work together and support each other.

I decided to start on the first Saturday, when I shopped at the supermarket near the house. Before departing, I kneel in front of my son so that my eyes align with his eyes. Hold His hands and look in his eyes.

" Dek, mommy wants to go to hero, baby want to come?"
My son was 2 when it wasn't smooth talking. He nods with sparkling eyes.
Listen to me. Later in the hero we'll buy only what's in mama's log. We don't buy a chip, candy, etc. I'm mentioning a bunch of non-obtainable snacks. We buy milk. Bread,.... (I mentioned a list of items in the note)
My son is nodding fast.

" you can't fuss, cry, get angry, ask for shit. If you're cranky, cry, get angry, and ask for anything, we go home and next week you can't come to mama to hero "

My son is nodding, doesn't seem to be too sure of my threats. His behavior in the supermarket shows it. He did everything I told you not to. Like Boss, he's pointing out all the stuff he wants. And when I ignored, he was getting restless. Upset and finally "waaaaaa......" my son cried so hard that everyone turned to me.

I feel my face getting warm. I'm embarrassed and wrong. People look at me sharp. It seems like, " it's mom, what they do

It's a critical point. If I give you what is prohibited, then the threshold of my child's demands will rise. Finally, I look in the eyes of my son who sits above troley. " the deck, I told you, you can't be fussy. Because you're cranky, now that we're home, next week, you don't come with mama here." hear my words, cry my son harder, his feet kick-Nenang. The more people turn around now.

At the cashier, an older lady, asked, "her child is crying why"
" get me a chip, I can't
"poor thing, nangisnya that way, thanks, why"
I only answer with a smile.
After the cashier's job, I passed away from there. I think I'm being accused of being so cruel, his son wants me to get a chip.

At Home, I hug my son still sobbing. As soon as I say, I say, " na, later in the supermarket don't fuss again. If that's cranky. We'll go home again, don't be shopping, right." my son just nods.

Next week, as promised, I'm not taking my son away.
" Dek, mama wants to go first, you're not coming, ' cause last week you're cranky and crying in the hero."
My son, he didn't expect me to keep running what I said. He cries very loudly. I leave my daughter to mbaknya so she hugs and quieted, and I keep going. The sound of his cries is still sound to the outside of the house I'm sighing, it doesn't feel like I heard her sad cry.

This pattern we do consistently consistently.
Third week, my son became a wonderful and obedient boy. (I think I've made it). Fourth week he started trying again and cried a lot more ghetto in the supermarket. (I almost gave up on it). But we stick with the same pattern, go home and next week he's not coming. Fluctuations, sometimes i melt and want to cancel. But my husband reminds me back. We will be difficult to implement this pattern if it doesn't work together.

We don't know how long we've done. We only focus on the goals that you want to achieve and the ugliness you want to avoid. Until About 6 months later I realized that my son became a lot more quiet and easier to cooperate.

* ALHAMDULILLAH
Thank you, my dear husband.
Thank you very much for my children who want to be patient, try and complete happiness.
Thank you all, big family and friends who always support and pray.

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