Friday, November 10, 2017

About "falling" and its influence on child development


 This morning I made a brief status of "fall". various responses show a different experience between one person with another. And all that is legitimate, because everyone does have characteristics, perception (that form of experience) and experience itself. In that experience contained a foster pattern that has been accepted from each other's parents and how we listen to it.

When we fall (one time), there are some probable cause;
1. ' cause our feet aren't strong yet. In Progress, here we are connected to maturity. An immature child, then he is not ready to accept the challenge above his ability.

2. ' cause we don't yet know the right street technique. It relates to knowledge and skill. The stronger our bodies and the more learn, so as far as the difficulty is with our abilities, then we will be able to control it.

3. Because the road is too difficult, above our abilities. Then we need to find a way and another challenge that is more suitable for our abilities.

4. Because we feel weak, so we lose mental energy, feeling powerless, feeling the terrain is too difficult and not eager to study again.

"drop" is different from a grown-up kid. Because of the child, objective weakness no. 1, 2 AND 3 is the most often occurring, so the help of the concrete and psychological support will be needed in balance. While on adults, no. 4 is much more.

"feeling weak" will form a concept of a person, which makes him limit himself to not do anything. This concept is formed from a repetitive experience of failure. Initially the failure was objective, but then it shifted to subjectively, when yell, believed that it was completely incompetent and definitely failed in the area. The concept is getting stronger when there are people who have authority (parents, teachers, friends, members, etc) who do judging that they are weak in the area. Then the label is confirmed by those around him, and he is certain of it.

Carol Dweck in the book of "mindset" and in many seminar, repeatedly emphasizing the danger of judging (fix mindset), and it's more promote ' growth mindset ' is an appreciation on the process. Therefore, instead, he said, " you are weak ", he encourages people to say " good you've tried ".

In Action Solutions Therapy and neuroscience. Increasingly visible, bad judging will be dipersepsi as a threat, so that a reptile's brain is active and reacts to self-defense and instead of cognitive brain working to think positive looking for a

Go back to falling again. If this happens to a child with all his limitations, then the spirit of learning that was originally owned will be lost, when;
- boy really feeling helpless, helpless and helpless to cope with his difficulties.
- it's worse, when an adult around it gives you an attitude and comment counterproductive, with ("you're so hard to tell"), it's not true. The same, compared to that, when you can't, you can't be able to be able to be able to be able to do it.

"fall" on adults, as delivered above, more follow the characteristic no. 4. Why is that? Adults can reach the age of decades means they've been through a lot of success in his life and also has a pattern of how to make himself successful So if he can't most is because "feel" can't.
- when an adult is facing difficulties, they can refer to the success that has ever passed in his life. Of many failures, there must be a success that we have ever experienced. This is called exception, or an exception. We learn from the exception, what makes it happen, and how we repeat it.
- the adults also have a long-term goal that can be achieved gradually. It's different with children whose goal is short term.
- the adults have a trick or strategy to face difficulties, failure and strategize with success. So that the completion of the formula has already been owned. When emotion and forget, just be reminded. Hehe... that's Easy Formula. Do it "SOMERSAULT".

Therefore the approach to adults is more appropriate to use that makes them actively searching and digging themselves. Adults are being taught like children who don't understand at all. Much to be fed and informed.

To Adults, judging is done more by yourself. Although it is done by other people around it, tokh us as adults have the greatest authority to decide until how far the past experiences, experiences and talk of other people it affects ourselves and our decisions are self-righteous.

As adults, we are the most responsible for the cure and the development of ourselves. So from now on we're thinking, what we can do to fix ourselves.

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